


Jay and Sans: Epic Bromance

by Momma



Series: Undertale (AKA, the time I couldn't NOT) [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: do not repost to another site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momma/pseuds/Momma
Summary: Jay is just human. Sometimes the world forgets that being just human means that she needs to be treated like one, too.
Relationships: Original Female Character ♦️ Sans the Skeleton, Sans & Original Undertale Character(s), TBD - Relationship
Series: Undertale (AKA, the time I couldn't NOT) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638478
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Jay & Sans: Epic Bromance/AKA: Jay and Sans are Sibs

**Author's Note:**

> ~~With the app gone, it is time to pull this out of storage, more because I need help picking AUs than anything.~~
> 
> EDIT: nvrmnd False alarm. More like false confirmation. Apparently the app is still up and while I can’t access it, several of my author bros can. All locks going back on. 
> 
> [Discord is pretty much my home](https://discord.gg/GSbSF6)

CHAPTER ONE

Cassandra Jane Helmsman was an average tired retail worker six seconds away from either crying or punching her roommate for being a stupid bachelor scientist. Again. She also preferred Cass or Sandy or especially Jay to that horrible mouthful her mother had  _ gifted _ her with upon the moment of her birth. Pushing a hand through her messy wild curls barely held back with a half-stripped hair tie, she bared her teeth as she grimaced. 

“Sans, explain to me while I shouldn’t pull your head  _ off _ your spine and use it for a bowling ball. Do it slowly and clearly so I have time to decide if I’m going to or not.” She covered her face with her hands, trying to breathe through the rage that filled her. She had a fucking shit day because groping her was allowed - her boss had watched it happen and had not said a word in her defense - and then she came home from her job expecting to have to handle all the farm chores. Yet, now, there was a rift in the Space-Time of existence because this bonehead couldn’t fucking  _ not _ for  _ one day. _ She wasn’t going to deal with the rest of it right now. She was on six hours too little sleep to deal with it. 

“Well, ah… hm,” he sweated, she knew he was. Her life wasn’t complete without this specific asshole fucking up. Fuck. 

“Sans. Please. I am so tired and I can’t right now. I just can’t.” Welp. Her voice wobbled on exhausted, frustrated tears. That was not good. She took another deep breath, the breath coming out stuttered.  _ Hngh.  _ She was so  _ tired. _

“Just… please, tell me you did the  _ one thing _ I asked you to do today?” 

There was silence a little too long until one of… his  _ guests _ coughed at the awkward length. Heels to her eyes, Jay took another wet, tear-ladened breath. She did not want to cry. She did not. She was just so stressed and working two full time jobs and a part time to make ends meet while running the farm by her fucking self and she just. She was just… so  _ tired. _ “Oh, Sans.” 

She didn’t want to cry but that meant little when the tears started to fall. 

Sans panicked. He hadn’t meant to make her cry! He had been ready with a zinger to diffuse the situation then Jay had started to quietly cry - a thing she did that made his bones crawl because it felt like something was  _ W R O N G.  _ A much worse  _ wrong _ than the fact she cried at all. She didn’t do a lot of easy touch either, his suspicions as to why often made his mandibles hurt from where he clenched his teeth. 

“Oh, Jay-bird,” he crooned, stepping closer. “I got… side-tracked. Can I touch you? I want to give ya a hug.” 

She seemed to hesitate before nodding slowly, allowing him to wrap her up softly in his big arms. He was short for an adult monster but he was just about average for a human. And Jay-bird, for all her jokes and tired eyes, was a pleasantly plump woman with curves for days and a heart a little too fragile. He hadn’t met the mother but, well, he wasn’t sure it would be good for the woman if he did. 

“Where will we put them all? How do I feed a literal army, Sans? I can’t even really feed us!” 

Fucking  _ dammit, _ he had messed up. Sans had been trying to save a bit so he could help by buying the farm under her name from her grandmother, yet he hadn’t realized just what kind of pressure she was under. “I can’t… I can’t work anywhere else. I don’t get enough sleep now. I will die, Sans. I will li-literally  _ die _ if I try.” 

“Oh, Jay-bird. It’s okay, sh-sh,” he murmured, glancing at the rest of… him. His  _ self _ in alternate timelines and destinations. “I’ll figure something out. Why don’t you go lay down and I call in to your job tomorrow?” 

She sniffed, not moving her hands from her face. “... I work at all of them tomorrow. I c-can’t call out of the hardware store or I’ll lose my job. I can’t call out of the store or the delivery either. I don’t have enough time racked up.” 

His bones ground tight because he hadn’t known that she had gotten yet another job. She didn’t see his expression, face in his collar, but the rest did. Honestly, he hadn’t thought before performing his experiment and now his friend who was very like a sister by now was… suffering his dumbass like a champ. 

“Oh, ki—Jay-bird. You’re killing yourself, here. That’s too much.” 

She sighed as she finally,  _ finally _ relaxed against him. “What else am I supposed to do?” 

He hummed, tucking her close. That rainbow heart with a white, white center of absolute love like nothing he had ever seen. Humans were a bit muddy with their colors, but Jay was something else. Hell, her brothers were pretty damned amazing, too. “How about you let big brother Sans handle this for you? I can’t believe you found a job that allowed you to work full time around the other schedule.” 

She laughed a little too wryly. “Yeah, well, apparently it means I get groped in front of my boss and they don’t do anything about it.” He felt his soul freeze, wrath squirming away in his ribs. Long soft arms wrap around his shoulders, a soft breath against his jaw forcing him away from the burgeoning need to DUNK on someone. “No, Sans, you cannot dunk on them. That’s against the law. Please. You’re my brother, I need you here more than I need my dignity assuaged.” 

He sighed, tucking her closer somehow. If she hadn’t been borderline too young when he met, he might have even fallen for her. However, she was everything he had needed in a friend and a sibling long before she was in any way a romantic interest. Dammit. “K—Jay-bird, don't take all my fun away.” 

She hummed in response, her breaths against his face getting softer, more regular. None of his other selves brought attention, made a sound, or even breathed hard. She was too tired to protest him plucking her up, frowning fiercely at how much weight she had lost. Too much in too little time. Bussing a kiss to her brow, he winked out to her room, took off her shoes, magicked off her bra, then wrapped her in a soft blanket before watching her sleep. Just for a moment. 

He straightened after a while, hands going to his pockets. It was time for business. 

Zipping a shortcut back to the room he had just left, he looked at the twelve various versions of himself. “Alright. We have some ground rules: don’t touch the girl. Don’t call her kid. Ever. Don’t call her doll or princess either. It’s not a pretty response. And last but not least, dont fuck up too much. Jay-bird can’t handle that right now.” He clapped his hands to stall anyone speaking. “Seriously, don’t fuck up. Now, who has questions?” 

The room erupted into noise. 


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO 

Jay slept the sleep of the exhausted. She was dead to the absolute bedlam in the living room and Sans was so,  _ so _ glad. Lil’ Sis needed her rest and he was getting a shorter and shorter fuse waiting for them to stop. fucking. shouting. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his phalanges together, spreading them out because he could not lose his temper. He did that exactly once and that was enough for him to know better now. 

She was a sensitive. An empath. A soul reader, mind healer, emotional guru. Whatever one would call it. He. Could not. Lose. His.  _ Temper. _

_ “quiet.”  _

His voice had been but a whisper but that seemed to be the trick. Don’t get louder, get  _ control. _ Jay-bird had taught him that with a small smile and warm eyes. She had demonstrated with a room of boisterous teen boys how effective it was and how sharp it made others pay attention. It was as much a presence play as a power play. One had to be aware, confident, and firm. Commanding in a collected way. Any overt show of emotion and you were one of them instead of over them. 

Once the room was staring at him, Sans took a breath. Fuck him. “One at a time. Please. I don’t have long before I need to make Jay very angry with me for her own health.” 

That seemed to shake the room a little, a few looked confused and more than one was concerned. Two versions of himself were in pressed, full three-piece suits, one with a red tie over a black shirt and one with a red shirt and a black tie and vest. There was a fedora on one head, the other without from what looked like a spot of trouble before Sans’ great fuck up. There was a him with a Gasterblaster head, one with him sporting an outer space look with literal stars on his cheeks, one that looked a bit too much like dear old Gaster, another version that didn’t look that different to now outside of being a bit thinner, a full chromatic version, two Hot Topic hounds, one who was a proper emo and the other a prep, a flannel wearing farmer with a straw hat, and… was that a version of him with his ribs exposed and a  _ corset? _ The last two were comical in that one reminded him of a babybones Papyrus and the other looked more like a grim reaper who found his shit in Hot Topic on a shoestring budget than anything else tossed over his usual hoodie and black track pants. 

They all seemed to be studying him. He allowed it, their judgement not nearly as bad as Jay’s gentle understanding and sad, sad smile. While it might seem like she was all kindness, the truth was much different. Much darker and yet more true to her. Jay had been abused for too long by too many to be as she should have been. Her soul should have been Determination, as red as the blood in her veins. Instead, it was a pinwheel of colors, each one denoting a painful lesson for her. Patience, Bravery, Kindness… All of them. 

“The k-the  _ girl. _ What is with the girl?” 

It was the one with the fedora, his face neutral. Sans rubbed a hand up his face then back down. “Jay is my sister. She adopted me as her brother, uh… a few years ago. Long enough ago she was still a baby teen.” 

There was still confusion. He wasn’t sure he wanted to elaborate more — that was  _ personal shit _ and, as anyone who knew (a) Sans, that was like prying Gaster from the Void: Possible. Not Recommended. He just. Needed to set boundaries. Very firm, very defined boundaries. Boundaries that they wouldn’t cross if they knew what was good for them. 

“Look. Jay is a bit… delicate. Emotionally. A little bit physically. She’s kind, she’s courageous, but mostly, she’s determined enough to help out. The thing is, her Soul won’t be able to handle your bullshit, so d o n t d o i t.” He sighed. “Just… just keep it away from her. I know me. I know we all won’t get along all the damned time, but for her, at least try and not be total asshats.” 

There was an exchange of looks, several Sans pondering the whole of what was being asked of them. 

Classic sighed as he plopped down on a chair, rubbing his brows. Papyrus was off to college and wouldn’t be back until summer break. With him would come Jay’s brothers, cousins, and nephews. Jay was right. He had  _ f u c k e d u p. _

“Dammit, Jaybird is right. I really messed up,” he groaned theatrically. “Now I really gotta buy the farm. Heh.” A flying flip flop smacked him in the face. Everyone went silent as a grave. “I forgot about that.” 

It wasn’t silent after that. 

Jay awoke refreshed if sore, her brain lagging behind. Something was wrong. That perked her brain up a little more. She was well rested. The soreness was from being still too long, not from lifting sixty pound bags of concrete and mortar, beams of heavy lumber, nor lugging about heavy loads. 

She had overslept. 

Eyes snapping open, Jay sat up with a silent terror. Her jobs. Her  _ jobs! _ She needed those! 

Scrambling from the bed, she barely noticed her state of dress enough to make sure she wasn’t stark naked, rushing from her room and down the hall. Skidding around a corner, she nearly fell onto a Sans. Not the one she was looking for, at least. Moving around him like a liquid feline, she kept going. “Sans!!!  _ SANS!!! _ Please tell me you didn’t!” 

Sans, her Sans  _ (soft ozone, deep cave, heavy snow, heartbroken blue patience) _ was somewhere in the house. She knew it because she could feel it. He wasn’t in his lab, thank goodness, but definitely on the other side of the house. Twisting around a set of Sans, she slid under another before regaining her feet and pounding faster across the hardwood floors in socked feet. 

“If you did, I’m gonna  _ skin you alive! _ SANS!” 

She almost bypassed the room before her head snapped around, eyes glaring at him as she used the door jamb to change trajectory and launched herself over the back of the couch at her older brother. He shrieked as she tackled him with sibling revenge in mind, the actual physical treatment resulting only in her knees and shins being bruised. Sans was just fine… but she was not having it. 

“If you let me sleep in, you bag o’ bones, I am gonna kick your bony ass to the moon! What the hell!? Where is my cell phone and why didn’t you wake me up?!” 

Sans lay beneath her, eye lights actually swirled. “... Uuuuuh?” Jay huffed and tickled his breastbone to great effect and before long, she was floating as his magic held her off of him. “J-Jay-bird! What..?!” 

Huffing, she crossed her legs, leaning over until she was looking at him properly. “I’m well rested. Something wrong has happened for that to be the case. I haven’t had more than ten or fifteen hours a  _ week _ of rest in  _ years, _ so tell me why I’m not a zombie.” 

Snorting, he crossed his arms, ignoring the rest of the Sans in the room and the ones thundering in. “You’ve been asleep for  _ forty-five hours.  _ On anyone else, that’s a fucking  _ coma, _ Jay-bird. You’re mentally, physically,  _ emotionally _ exhausted  _ and _ compromised and I’ve had it up to here with your self-sacrificing habits. You need to take care of yourself, Jayjay.” 

“Yeah, well,” she bit out, a little hurt. “I don’t have anything else that will pay the bills and whoring yourself out is  _ illegal _ and, honestly, gives me the heebie-jeebies. But I will. I will if it protects my boys. I have plenty enough of disgusting old men old enough to know me in baby pageant dresses that would be interested if I have to.” 

Sans was quiet. Was sharp and unhappy and eye lights gone as he pressed his phalanges together. “Not happening, Jay-bird. In fact, I have a solution to your problems.” It wasn’t flippant or funny. It was straightforward and sharp and simple enough that she put her hands on her knees and bent until she folded in half, ignoring the few sounds of surprise. “One moment.” 

Sans blipped out, his magic holding her steady, then back, a file folder in hand. Jay took it with wary skepticism, flipping it open once she deduced there wasn’t a prank waiting to happen. What greeted her instead made her feel more faint than the one time JoJo ate someone’s pet by accident. Or the time Sans had actually factually ran without being prompted. Or, uh. She didn’t have anything else and her brain was quiet with shock. 

“S-Sans.  _ Sans. _ This is the land deed. The one my mother has held over my head since I was twelve. The one that only my grandma could override.” She held it with suddenly trembling limbs as her mind tried to understand. “Sans, this costs a literal fortune.  _ What did you do?”  _

He patted her leg, using his hold to tug her down. “Ah. Just had a nice talk with the old lady. She’s surprisingly just like you.” 

Having trouble taking a breath, Jay tried to regulate her breathing. “Sans. My grandmother. Is violently opposed. To Monsters.  _ She has a shotgun. _ So how the hell. Is this real.” 

He smirked. “Called her up, let her know what I was doing for you. She was entirely onboard and I only got the barrel waved in my general direction.” Sans face slowly slid into a concerned frown when Jay couldn’t stop hyperventilating. “Hey, hey. Come’re, Jay-bird. Your gran was terrifying and protective and I thought it was kind of sweet since it’s just like you, only more magic-y on your end.” He gave a small laugh as he pulled her into his lap, sitting up to wrap his arms around her body. “She even thanked me for doing this. Now you’re free of your psychotic mother.” 

Jay burst into tears, crumbling the folder enough that Sans fingers liberated it from her. She clung to him, emotions pouring out like a swirling vortex as they each rotated through her mind over and over again: disbelief, shock, sudden relief, tentative joy. It didn’t take long for the emotions to level out, but she was still a bit too exhausted mentally to really grasp the implications, the knowledge that she was free of her mother’s vicious grasp. She clung to her big brother, her rock, her best friend and hero. He kept saving her over and over — how was she supposed to reciprocate? 

“I am still callin granma. If she actually did fill you with buckshot,  _ you wouldn’t say anything.  _ So, instead of fighting a losing battle with you, I’ll call the one who will actually talk in detail about what happened without that pesky habit of  _ glossing things over  _ that you have, brother dearest.” 

Face pressed to his sternum, she felt his long phalanges tease a curl. He had learned early that there was no combing his hand through her hair. Not unless she straightened it. Or was fresh out of the shower. “I can promise she did not shoot me nor cause me mental, physical, or emotional harm.” Big hands tilted her head back and a skeleton kiss was pressed to her brow. “I would say you worry too much, but now I know exactly where you get it and why you would think that. But I  _ am _ fine. No injury or heartache here, Jay-bird.” 

Quietly sniffing, she nodded. “Okay. You promised, so I believe you.” 

They grinned at each other, all soft warm sibling fluff, when someone cleared their throat. “As… touchin as this scene is, would someone like to illuminate what is going on?” 

Jay suddenly remembered that the house was full for once, and with many different versions of her brother. She groaned, hiding her face in his shirt as she pulled his parka over her head. Not only had she done a mad dash through the house like a wild woman, she had tackled her brother and then had an emotional breakdown in the living room. The ground would be so perfect if it would  _ just swallow her. _

“Jay, you can’t hide in my jacket.” 

“Watch me.” 

“Seriously, brat, come on.” 

“No.” 

“Don’t make me do it.” 

“Please don’t. I don’t know them and I had a meltdown.  _ Twice. _ Have mercy!” 

“... Mercy is for losers.” 


End file.
